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Mar. 31st, 2011 08:04 pm[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]
Dairanne would never understand, of course, that I am ... no longer so anxious to see Razen, again. I would be perfectly content to let it be the last of Atsiria's cities we visit. Strange, now, to remember how disappointed I was when I learned it was Ilserna that we would arrive in.
But now ... no. I am in no hurry to place myself in proximity with him, again. And Dairanne ... I hardly know what to think about her. Do I want to see what she's become? Parties and gossip and courting the son of a Councillor. I hardly know her, now, and she certainly does not know me. And then there is the queen. Better to let time bridge the distance between us and the her. Let her marry Matthew, and let her forget all her anger in her happiness, if she hasn't already. Time certainly won't hurt us in that.
There is too much there to distract me. I know myself well enough to realize that. I won't be at my best, and Razen should have my best. I'm in no hurry to rush into that, unprepared, a stupid young girl with a head full of memories of a city filled with extravagant splendour. No. Ilserna is better for me, now. Maybe even Feldri would be better. I've had years to prepare myself for those distractions, after all.
I wish she'd never spoken of those silly rumours. Mother certainly isn't in any hurry to go anywhere, least of all Razen.
Dairanne would never understand, of course, that I am ... no longer so anxious to see Razen, again. I would be perfectly content to let it be the last of Atsiria's cities we visit. Strange, now, to remember how disappointed I was when I learned it was Ilserna that we would arrive in.
But now ... no. I am in no hurry to place myself in proximity with him, again. And Dairanne ... I hardly know what to think about her. Do I want to see what she's become? Parties and gossip and courting the son of a Councillor. I hardly know her, now, and she certainly does not know me. And then there is the queen. Better to let time bridge the distance between us and the her. Let her marry Matthew, and let her forget all her anger in her happiness, if she hasn't already. Time certainly won't hurt us in that.
There is too much there to distract me. I know myself well enough to realize that. I won't be at my best, and Razen should have my best. I'm in no hurry to rush into that, unprepared, a stupid young girl with a head full of memories of a city filled with extravagant splendour. No. Ilserna is better for me, now. Maybe even Feldri would be better. I've had years to prepare myself for those distractions, after all.
I wish she'd never spoken of those silly rumours. Mother certainly isn't in any hurry to go anywhere, least of all Razen.
